Without You
by Silver Thomas
Summary: Silver finds herself facing the nights alone after a fight with Bandit. This is the aftermath of an event that will shatter both their worlds.


"Without You"  
Words by Natalie Maines & Eric Silver  
As sung by the Dixie Chicks  
Story content by Brooke "Silver" Thomas  
  
"I've sure enjoyed the rain  
But I'm looking forward to the sun"  
  
Silver sat looking out the window of the girls' bunkroom. It had been misty   
all morning and as noon approached, a light rain had begun to fall. Now it   
was pouring down. Earlier that morning the girls had decided that they would   
take the day off, due to the fact that no one has ever been successful at   
selling a wet pape. It would be a waste of their time and hard earned money   
to try to sell. So the boarders Bridge Lodging House had resigned themselves   
to a day inside. Over in the middle of the room, a couple of the girls had   
started a round of poker. Silver could hear Spades Fia and South arguing   
over who had the highest hand.   
  
"You have to feel the pain  
When you lose the love you gave someone"  
  
Silver shut her eyes to block out the noise. After a moment she opened them   
again, for the moment that she had blocked out the girls all she could hear   
was him. The things he had said. It had been over a month since they had   
last spoken, and she still hadn't heard where he had disappeared to. Most   
of the night they had parted was fuzzy in her mind, blurred by time. But she   
could recall clearly how their voices had risen over the sound of the rain.   
When nothing more could be said he looked in her eyes, sighed and walked   
away. As his silhouette disappeared into the night her tears mixed with the   
rain. Until that moment she didn't realize that you really could feel your   
own heart break.   
  
"I thought by now the time  
Would take away these lonely tears"  
  
It had been thirty long days since they had fought and seperated. There were   
unspoken questions in the other girls' eyes, and she didn't know what answers   
to give them.   
  
"I hope you're doing fine all alone  
But where do I go from here"  
  
As silently as a cat in the night, Silver slipped outside onto the fire   
escape. She made her way to the roof. The rain soaked through her shirt,   
cooling her skin. Even in the rain, the city continued on with its noise and   
bustle. Silver watched as a man hooked up his fruit stand to the back of his   
horse and begin to drive away. The clicking of the horse's hooves on the   
streets took her back to the night that Bandit had persuaded her to go to the   
track with him. He insisted that she pick which horse they would bet on,   
and she had picked Dollar Bill, telling Bandit that she hoped the horse would   
win a few of those for them. Suprisingly enough, Silver found herself drawn   
into the race. At first she wasn't all to thrilled, it was just a bunch of   
horses running in circles. But as the end loomed closer and their horse   
began to gain on the lead, she understood the reason Bandits eyes sparkled   
with excitement. In the span of a few minutes Dollar Bill was running   
second. Bandit reached for her hand. Just as the bell rang announcing   
Dollar Bill as the first place finisher Bandit kissed her and proclaimed that   
he was never coming back without her. She was his good luck charm. Silver   
shook her head and pulled herself back to reality. She was standing on a   
roof in the pouring down rain. Alone. With a ragged breath, she wondered   
again where Bandit was.   
  
"'Cause without you I'm not okay  
And without you I've lost my way  
My heart's stuck in second place, ooh  
Without you"  
  
The girls had noticed the change in Silver but no one quite knew how to   
approach her. They sat downstairs one night talking about it. "I just don't   
know what to say to her," said Blaze. Goosey piped up, "She aint eatin.   
Have you noticed the way her suspenders is the only thing holding her clothes   
up?" Luna stood up and paced the room. "Chapter, I know you guys are close.   
Maybe you could say something to her? I'm really worried." Chapter nodded.   
"I can try. But it's like all the fire went out of her."  
  
"Well I never thought I'd be  
Lying here without you by my side"  
  
There were never enough tears to wash away the pain Silver felt. While the   
others slept Silver stared at the bottom of Spades Fia's bunk. Everything   
had changed so fast. All it took was a minute to change everything.   
  
"It seems unreal to me  
That the life you promised was a lie"  
  
Something inside of her was missing. Bandit had been with her since she had   
started over. She wasn't Brooke here; she was Silver. He had given her the   
name, to match the color of her eyes. He was entangled in her life here.   
What was she going to do without him there? She tossed and turned in bed,   
trying to find a comfortable spot so she might be able to get some rest.   
However, it seems that night would be like all the others.   
  
"You made it look so easy  
Making love into memories"  
  
There was a movement in the darkness and Silver sat up in bed, wondering who   
would be up at this time of night. There was a shadow at the foot of her   
bed. She forced her eyes to adjust quickly and she whispered, "Who's there?"   
The figure moved around to the side of her bunk and said quietly, "It's   
me-Chapter." Silver moved over so that her friend could sit on the edge of   
her bed. She felt the bed move as Chapter seated herself. "Can I talk to   
you?" She asked. Silver sighed and said, "Sure. What's on your mind?"   
Chapter paused for a moment then said, "Actually, I'd like to know what's on   
your mind. We're all worried about you." There was a silence before Silver   
said in a whisper, "I don't know anymore. I feel as though the rest of the   
world goes on while I stand in confusion." Chapter leaned over and hugged   
her friend. She felt the tension in Silver's body. "It's going to be ok,"   
she whispered. As if something inside of her shattered, Silver relaxed and   
began to cry on her friend's shoulder. "I just don't understand how he   
could walk away from us. I didn't want to upset him, I only wanted to tell   
him the truth. I don't know where he is, or how he feels. I'm scared," she   
sobbed. Chapter rubbed her friend's back and murmured comforting words. "I   
wonder what she told him," Chapter thought. "It just hurts so much," Silver   
cried.   
  
"I guess you got what you wanted  
But what about me"  
  
Somewhere in Manhattan, Bandit walked the streets. For the millionth time,   
he wondered what Silver was doing. Part of him wanted to go back to the   
Bridge, so that he could look her in the eyes and see that she was ok. He   
ached to hold her again, to know that she was only one room away if he wanted   
to see her. But how could he tell her that he had only left because he was   
confused? That he'd needed time to figure out why he'd reacted to what she'd   
that night. Of course, it all came down to the fact that he'd not been there   
to protect her. Bandit sighed to himself and tried not to think too much   
about what had happened since that night. He'd spent two weeks in jail   
because of what he'd done after he walked away.   
  
"Somebody tell my head to try to tell my heart  
That I'm better off without you  
'Cause baby I can't live"  
  
"How would I tell her?" he thought. He rubbed at the sore spot on his ribs   
that marked where he'd missed an incoming punch that night. He recalled the   
moment his fist had connected with Morris' jaw. "That's for bruising   
Silver." He had exclaimed. After a few minutes and several traded punches   
the bulls showed up and hauled both the guys off to jail. As he sat in the   
dark that night, all Bandit could think about was where things went from   
there. Could he go back? Would Silver take him back? He was afraid that she   
wouldn't. He was furious with Morris, with himself. He was ashamed for   
getting himself in this situation and the pain the he knew he knew he was   
causing the person he loved the most. He whispered to the wind, "I love you   
Silver," then hung his head to cry.   
  
"Without you I'm not okay  
And without you I've lost my way  
My heart's stuck in second place, ooh  
Without you ...without you"  



End file.
